Buttered bread

“I WILL NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT WHERE MY BREAD GETS BUTTERED…”

“I WILL NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT WHERE MY BREAD GETS BUTTERED…”

“I WILL NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT WHERE MY BREAD GETS BUTTERED…”

This is the phrase I repeat to myself from April till October.

Spring brings the reminder on strong that my husband is not my everything. He is a gift from God. He is good at being a husband. He is so lovable. But…he is not my Jesus.

I am reminded of that every spring because his regular presence in the house is drastically reduced. He is no longer there to give me a break from screaming kids. He is no longer able to answer my phone call right away. He is no longer their to fill my evenings with his much beloved company.  He is not there to heal my hurting heart with words of love and comfort when a struggle comes up in the middle of the day. His current schedule is out the door around 5 and I see headlights hit the garage door at about 10:30 ish. I get to see him at night and i get to sleep beside him. To all of you women who have husbands in any type of military service I tip my hat to you.  

I am not alone in this.  I asked this question in a facebook group I am a part of :  Do any of you who have husbands who have ‘busy seasons’ for work?  If you do what are some practical things you do to keep your sanity?

Here is a condensed list of the great ideas I received:

  • Be thankful for rainy days (this works if your hubby is in any agricultural business)
  • go to the office if you can (for us it’s the field or the office)
  • Set up routines
  • relish control of the TV remote
  • keep expectations in check (oh my….still growing here!)
  • Hot bath
  • Prayer
  • Remember this is how you and the kids are being provided for
  • Do some fun out of the ordinary things with the kids (movie nights, park dates)
  • NAP!
  • Wine (or Whiskey)
  • Build your hubby up in conversations you have with your kids and others.
  • Enjoy the longing.  After marriage that doesn’t always happen…I mean…In the winter he is always around….
  • Stretch your body (this is so simple yet so smart and something I am going to start)
  • Have a hobby or project to look froward to doing when he is busy.

The schedule change makes me tangibly rely on other things for support and comfort and a break. I will tell you that it can get ugly around our household in the spring. If you live near me come mid June you may hear me audibly chanting…

“I WILL NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT WHERE MY BREAD GETS BUTTERED…”

When I get to my breaking point I have things I want to do to help relieve the stress. Reading, coffee, whiskey, and a bath are on the top of the list. There are times when those things become impossible because I am just plain old too tired or the kids are plain old 4 kids 8 and under. (Coffee only works so well for so long).

Even good things, like a loving husband, a comfortable home, all the things on the list, and so many other useful, helpful, and practical things  lead me away from following, thanking, and praising my shepherd. Instead I rely on the gifts instead of the giver of all good things for my peace, comfort, and contentment.  Each and every thing on that list is a gift.  Each and everything on that list is a good idea.  Each and everything can be seen as a gift from God or an idol in our lives.  An idol that we look to for ‘the good stuff’.

This spring I’m am still going to enjoy these good things.  I will sit on my deck with a book and cold brew coffee.  I will take the kids to the park.  I am still going to look forward to the end of spring.  But..as I search in, read the words of, write out, and meditate on Psalm 23 my prayer is that it will be used by God to keep my eyes on him, keep the words on my mouth prayers of thanksgiving, and keep my worship on the giver instead of the gifts.

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