Marital Romance and the 40/60 rule.

first street dance              

Babies, we are babies in this picture!

When my husband told me about this 60/40 rule I initially wanted to kick him in the teeth and thought it was the most unromantic thing I had ever heard him utter.  We had not been married long when he revealed this romantic sentiment.

Let me get this right…

You only like me 60 percent of the time?

You only like 60 percent of me?

Wait…maybe it’s only 40 percent?....

But in all reality that thinking couldn’t be more narcissistic on my part.  A few more years into marriage and I’m blown away by the fact that he would like me 60,40, or 5 percent of the time.  The intimacy of marriage has a way of pinpointing and revealing just how sinful and unpleasant I can be.  Marriage is a place where hiding is much harder.

In reality his philosophy behind the 40/60 rule or 60/40 rule  is way more romantic.  It is beautiful and ridiculously messy all at once.

He may love 60 percent of what I do…but he loves me 100 percent of the time

40 percent of what I do may drive him crazy…but he loves me 100 percent of the time

It drives him crazy 100 percent of the time that I am always (running) late…but he loves me 100 percent of the time.

The 60/40 rule has a lot less to do with percentages and more to do with realizing this person you are married to is not perfect.  Love and Marriage are about letting the love and grace of our Savior flow onto our spouse.  There are times when we will want to put a stop to any type of grace.  Love and Marriage are messy.

My husband isn’t perfect.  Hopefully I have made it clear that I am far from perfection.  He would be the first to admit he is not perfect.  He is not perfect and there are days I want to put the plug on any free flowing grace.  There are days I want to kick him in the teeth.  He can love me when I’m late, lazy, disorganized, and just down right nasty to be around.  He can do that not because of who he is, or who I am, but because of who Jesus is.

He isn’t perfect.  I am not perfect.  We are loved by a perfect Savior.

On those days when I want to kick him in the teeth and he is ready to send me to a class on time management we have an option.  We can look to our Savior.  We can be reminded of how much our Savior loves us.  We can be reminded of how much grace is flowing into us at every moment.  We can remember we do not have to muster up that grace.

Hopefully our love for one another reflects the love our Savior has for us.

By Grace Alone



***I am not a marriage counselor and their are times when marriage is hard and there are marriages that are dangerous.  If marriage is hard or dangerous for you right now please seek counsel and help.

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