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I am an amazon prime, Google the answer, Netflix watching, if I can’t wear it today why buy it instant gratification junkie.

I’m not good at waiting.  I’m especially bad at waiting for answers.

I love google so I can have all the answers right now.  Last week I googled ‘Is it PMS or am I crazy.’  You’d be amazed at what I ‘learned’.

I love amazon prime so I can get things that would take months to get delivered to my door in two days.

I love Netflix because I can watch the office right here, right now…heck I could have it on in the background right now while I type this….

I love buying a new shirt at Target and putting it on in my car…in the parking lot.

But google can’t provide any answers to big questions.  Google can’t tell me if it was best for my kids to send them back to public school.  I have to wait for that answer.  Google can’t tell me if homeschooling for 6 months was the worst idea ever or the best idea ever.  I may never have the answer to these questions.

I’d love to google questions like:

What can I expect in the next day, month or year?

Am I raising my kids the right way?

When we were deciding to move I would have loved to google if or where we should move.

And I could google all of those questions.  I could glean all kinds of answers from message boards, parenting websites, experts in the housing market….

But google does not hold the answers to the really important questions.  The answers to those questions I have to wait for.  The ones I think are really important may not be answered, ever.

I don’t have all the answers, and may never have any of the answers, but the one who does is the one who gave me this life, gave me these children, and put me right where I am.

I just get to live this life out.  I get to be used by my loving creator to live this life, raise these children, and live right where I’m living.

Everyday I do numerous things wrong, I have to ask my kids for forgiveness, and I still question what the heck I’m suppose to be doing everyday.

Like I said I don’t have the answers to these questions.  Life is just too messy (yet beautiful) to tie a bow around it sometimes (maybe all the time).

So what will I do??  Flounder?

I’ll bask in the goodness and love of Jesus, I’ll love on my kids, and I’ll find a spot in this little life.

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, salaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared,

he saved us,

not because of works done by us in righteousness,

but according to his own mercy,

by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,

whom he poured out on us richly through JESUS Christ OUR Savior,

so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

The saying is trust worthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works.

These things are excellent and profitable for people.

Titus 3:3-8